Singer Halsey Says: “I wonder if I chose the wrong life”

Halsey, who now uses the pronouns ‘she/they’, says she wonders if she chose the wrong life after confessing to feeling a deep sadness.

“I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch, a loneliness, an emptiness,” Halsey explained on her Instagram Story on Wednesday.

“I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself,” they added atop a photo of burning candles. “And the weight of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose other than my own self loathing.”

Halsey continued, “I am approaching my 28th birthday in a week and just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18. A breath that was meant to sustain me for a decade.”

The singer went on to reveal that she feels as if she is wandering lawlessly, but hopes to find meaning in her life through music soon.

“If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle,” they concluded the message, adding, “with love 🤍.”

Halsey has always been open about battling with bipolar disorder after she attempted suicide and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital at 17. 

“I’ve been committed twice since I became Halsey, and no one’s known about it. But I’m not ashamed of talking about it now,” the singer told Rolling Stone back in 2019 about her ongoing struggles.

“It’s been my choice. I’ve said to my manager, ‘Hey, I’m not going to do anything bad right now, but I’m getting to the point where I’m scared that I might, so I need to go figure this out.’ It’s still happening in my body. I just know when to get in front of it.”

Not only has Halsey been dealing with mental health issues over the past few years, she’s also been diagnosed with multiple other health issues.

Back in May, Halsey revealed they were diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Sjogren’s syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) following a series of hospitalizations. 

“I’ve been looking for answers to the root cause of some of these things, which may be an autoimmune disease. And I know I’ve had autoimmune issues for most of my life, especially having endometriosis,” Halsey reassured fans on Instagram, adding that they “don’t want anybody to be worrying.”